Welcoming the Fear and Future

 

This morning I felt the fear rise in my chest. Literally, I felt it. Tightness. Worry.

 

I’ve been floating along this miraculous summer trying not look it too hard in the eye lest it should disappear out from under me. Pretending like it’s not that big of a deal how much God has done and provided because it scares me. So I live day to day and simply welcome what comes.

 

But this morning, this morning I thought about next year. Next year when we have to fly thousands of miles for further training and our home owners come back to claim the roof over our head and the semester that husband will miss and how on earth we’re going to hang on until then. And it scared me.

 

So I stopped. I put my hand on my chest and I said, “Hold on there”. I don’t know what I meant by that but it’s what came out. Today has enough troubles of it’s own, I won’t worry about tomorrow’s just yet.

 

And then I decided to welcome the future, the terrifying, unknown future – to welcome the miracles that God is going to lay before us, rebuilding our faith one basket of loaves and fishes at a time.

 

Jessica

 

Linking up with Lisa-Jo’s Five Minute Friday today.

Comments

  1. Amen to that!
    Kristi *aka* BohoBear recently posted..Current Blog Posts Listed Below :)      My Profile

  2. I can’t tell you how much I needed this today. Thank you so much Jessica.
    Aprille recently posted..My little turkey in the straw (Applefest)My Profile

  3. jessica, sounds like you will be headed far away next year. i can identify. at my age now (66) welcoming the future is different than it was long ago. i work in a rehab hospital and see my “future” some days…and shrink from it. then i realize that GOD is sufficient for my future whether it includes what i see in my work or something else.

    meanwhile, i am to live a day at a time for His glory. hang in there girl. grab those thoughts and don’t let them run away with you. GOD is faithful. obviously, you know that or wouldn’t have made the commitments you have made so far. i enjoyed reading you post. i think we’ve met before.
    martha brady recently posted..FIVE MINUTE FRIDAY: WELCOME THEM AS FRIENDS!…My Profile

  4. This is so great, Jess. I feel exactly like this every time I think about our adoption. Thanks for sharing.
    Kelli recently posted..Created for thisMy Profile

  5. I live how you show honestly and openly what it is like to live fully reliant on God. I don’t want you to feel as is I have set you up as some sort of ideal, but I love watching you trust and just flesh it out.
    Amy Tilson recently posted..You’re WelcomeMy Profile

  6. Saying prayers for you.
    denise recently posted..Five Minute Friday/WelcomeMy Profile

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