I’m not hurt. Why does everyone think I’ve been hurt? I’m leaving on principle. On lots of principles. I’d be happy to sit down and explain elaborately, theologically, on why I choose to not play a part in the institutional church anymore. And it has nothing to do with being hurt.
Okay, so maybe I’m hurt. Maybe I’ve been hurt. And maybe it’s okay to be angry about it! I mean, why is the system set up so often to exclude, set up to disconnect instead of connect, set up the very least efficient and effective way possible? UGH! Isn’t it okay to be angry about that? It’s an outrage, a crying shame! How are we ever going to fix it if we aren’t honest about all the things that are wrong!
Okay, what if we start our own church? I know we’re not perfect, but we know the basics of how it should be done, what if we started there to see what could happen if church is grown in a more natural environment? What if we build our own community, God? Then will you bless us with your presence?
No one understands God. No one wants authentic, real life, messy, imperfect community. It’s a lost cause. I’m tired of dealing with people who don’t think critically about their beliefs. I’m so tired of dealing with all of the theological parrots, just repeating what they’ve been told without studying it, examining it, praying it. I’m done with these people.
Grace. Freedom. The church is broken but it’s okay. They’re just human. They’re just growing, maturing, changing humans, just like me. I cannot be a part of the broken system without anger and depression, but I can live my life in peace outside of it. I can embrace the community of those around me, the ones that have been organically planted in my life.
I will pursue a life in pursuit of God. And eschew any practice, or institution, that gets in the way of that.
*photo by chrisharvey