The F Word.

That's right. I'm going there.



Four small letters.  One large pet peeve.


I have serious issues with this word.  I think it’s rooted deep into my childhood, where very clear lines were drawn about it’s usage.  I wasn’t allowed to say it.


Or watch The Simpsons.


And I still derive no pleasure from either. (aaaand, I just lost all The Simpsons fans)


I’m sorry, I know some people are fine with it.  I see perfectly respectable people, and their children, saying it all the time.  Nonchalantly, no less. As if they’re saying “kitty” or “butterfly” or ” rainbow” or something else equally cute and harmless.


But not me.  Or my Wild Things.  I have to draw the line somewhere.


And my line stands firmly one step before the word …




*shivers* Ugh, just having to type it makes me feel like a filthy mouthed criminal. 


You may think I’m silly, but I can’t get past it.  The cold stark truth of it is, some words are bad, and other 100% synonymous words are not.


Poop has a cuss word.

Butt has a cussword.

Pee has a cussword.

And poot, very clearly, has a cussword.


So there.






    OK. Sorry. That is SO funny to me because in my household that was an OK word, but my husband grew up in a household where that very same word was considered to be a bad word. In place of it, they used…are you ready for it?… “punckle”. Yeah. It has taken me YEARS to get used to that. And it still cracks me up.

    • Eww, punckle sounds even worse than the F word! Lol.

      • I thought so too…and I couldn’t even remember the word the first 100 times for some reason. LOL

        In my house growing up, my mom didn’t like the “f” word but for some reason told us if it was in the dictionary that we could use it. So we looked it up (at the dinner table, no less) and it was not only in our dictionary, but the definition (at the time) was “a small explosion between the legs”. My mom found that so funny she didn’t care if we used the word anymore. LOL

  2. It’s so funny the words that we end up having issues with. I don’t have a problem with the F word, but we don’t really use it… they are “toots” around these parts. :-) But Mike and his brothers all grew up using the word, “caca” for poop, and that word makes my skin crawl!!!!

    • And I grew up okay with that word, but Husband has outlawed it! Lol.

    • I will have to agree with you…”caca” is not a very pretty word for me.

    • My children both use that word… that is the word in Creole. But, it is said in a way that makes me understand that it is not the word used in polite society. That would be the decidedly French accented, “Toilette.” They have been in the US for 3 years and still use the Creole word for the F Word… pete. It is always followed by load of silliness and giggles.

      • The comments of this post maybe have been more educational than anything I’ve ever written. :)

  3. The f-word doesn’t happen much in my house. We toot around here!

    • Hmm, we may have to do a graph to see if the gas passing vernacular changes according to region in the US.


  4. LOL! I never really remember what all we said when I was growing up. In our home though, they do say it on ocassion. More so for the giggles than anything. I correct them and say “toots” or “poots”. LOL Then we all start giggling!

    • The F Word truly isn’t a problem in our house right now. But with three little boys … I figure it’s only a matter of time. And then I might just have to adjust my attitude. And start watching the Simpsons. Or something.

  5. That is probably my favorite word. I hope we can still be friends.

    • I suppose so. As long as you don’t go dropping the F Bomb around here too much. ;)

  6. AH HAHAHA! I was so with you…….I was like yeah, I agree the F word is horrible……and just when I thought I knew what you were talking about. …..uh wow. Ok, even though it was totally NOT what I was thinking, I still agree!! We don’t say THAT “F” word around here either. I hate it! I grew up with that being normal, but I hate that word. We say “toot” around here :)

  7. I hate the word too. The older two know and understand that pretty well. But the youngest. He’s a tough bird to break. He just thinks it’s so funny. And I have to say, when he says it, it’s funny to me too. Oh dear…


    • I don’t think the baby actually knows the word right now. But if he did … yeah. It’d probably be cute. :)

  8. I think for me there’s a line. Babies poot. Ladies poot. Toot if they must. But some people, when they pass gass, do the f word. To me, poots or toots are small, quiet things. F words describe the kind of flatulence that can rattle windows. “Poot” just doesn’t cover that kind of sound. And I’ve known some people whose gas emissions are always f words. Ya know what I mean?

  9. Haha, you said “Butt has a cussword”… growing up in my house “butt” WAS a cussword. But so was just about everything else any of you have mentioned. I don’t even think we said toot.

    • So were we in denial about gaseous parts of our body altogether in your house growing up? :)

    • Butt was a cussword in our house growing up, too. So were “heck” “darn” “gee” “gah” “gosh” and a multitude of other words. My mom was a big fan of using proper terminology. You’ve never felt stupid until you’ve been sitting on the toilet with somebody outside trying to beat down the door so you yell, “I’m busy defecating in here!”

  10. Yeah, I can’t get past that word, either. I feel like an uptight old lady, but I can’t help it: still makes me cringe when I hear it. I outlaw it for my kids, too.

  11. *Gufaw!* yeah, we don’t use that one either – *but* we use “poo-poo stinker” (3yr old had reduced it to ‘poo poo ‘tinker)or we might use “butt cheeks clapping” (as in . . “Were those YOUR butt cheeks clapping?!”)

  12. I think we could be friends in real life. I kinda love this post. And, I have 3 boys, too. So, there’s all kinds of farting, tooting, barking spiders, SBD, passing gas-anything you want to call it-going on around here. Not to mention, the daddy and the pups that add to the mix. Just don’t be caught dead in the Swagger Wagon with all of them after eating beans.

    • Jessica says:

      Oh yes, my husband is a fan of the barking spiders. And I’m so glad our dog is outside now, because he was becoming unbearable when he was still in. ;)

  13. Heather says:

    We don’t use fart around here, though it’s not really outlawed. But I refuse to use toot or poot or any other such silliness. They just sound ridiculous to me. I am all for proper terminology, so we pass gas in this house. AND acknowledge it openly and say excuse me.

    • Jessica says:

      I guess technically it isn’t outlawed. I honestly don’t think that my 3 boys even know the word. because I’ve never used it. Lol.

    • We’re a little – earthy – around here and one of my daughters, who shall remain nameless, went on a kick for a while of announcing after passing gas, “Hold your applause to the end of the show, please!” When that failed to get a laugh from her sister after a while she moved on to, “Thank you and goodnight, everybody!”

      This is why I laugh when some people talk about how “gross” boys are.

  14. We say “snort.” The outside world doesn’t know what we are talking about. They think we are talking about laughing with a pig sound.

    Yesterday, my friend said, “I just shot a bunny.” We had no idea she was talking about “snorts.”

  15. I grew up in southeast England, and we “passed wind”. Fart was a rude playground word. Then my brother, as a young adult (!) picked up the idea of “floating an air biscuit” from somewhere, and it sorta stuck…

  16. Too funny. It’s a bad word around my house too. I grew up saying “poot” but with my kids we either “pass gass” or “toot.” :D

    • Jessica says:

      I grew up saying “poot” so it’s well within my comfort zone. And yet I think “toot” sounds silly. *shakes head*

  17. Oh my, have no idea what we’ll do, but babychild is 6months, so I suppose we need to figure it out! I can’t remember if we were allowed to say fart, probably not. We definitely weren’t allowed to watch The Simpsons. Although we weren’t allowed to say butt paired with others words like head or face. I’ve heard “fluff” used as an alternative too.

    • Jessica says:

      Leave it to Mo. I’m sure he’ll come up with some sort of borderline inappropriate code word to hashtag. Lol.

      I’ve also heard “puff”, which I think is just all kinds of weird.

  18. In our house, I think we’ve heard every single code word ever created. Probably just because my dear husband gives us plenty of opportunity to discuss it… *sigh*

    What kills me is that he’ll be walking around doing his own thing and the moment he gets into a confined space, such as the car, the bedroom… or under the blankets… there he goes. Like, seriously, WHY. WHY!!!!!

    My daughter uses “Puffed”. As in, a little giggle followed by a blush and an “Oops, I puffed.” Followed by another giggle. It’d be cute if the second giggle was replaced by a sincere “pardon me” — but I’m dreaming if I ever expect that to happen!

  19. LOL!! My Mom HATES the words poop and pee!!!!! (She says jobie *shiver* and potty.) My BFF taught me about shart.. Is that one any better?? lol

    • What the crap is a jobie? LOL. And I cannot believe you just whipped out the S word. :D

  20. This whole post and all the comments just made my day :-) I totally thought you were taking the F word thing in a different direction, so I just ended up laughing the whole way through.

    My son thinks the f word is the funniest thing he’s ever heard (he’s seven) and loves the book series “Walter the farting dog” — as much as I don’t prefer the word, I have to admit that listening to him read it aloud and cackle makes me laugh too :-)

  21. We do say the ‘F” word, although I don’t encourage it. I think we use “tooted” more than anything. A friend of mine introduced me to “barking spiders”, and for a bigger, ahem expulsion of air: “Some one just cracked a rat.” What can I say? He’s German.

  22. I also was not allowed to use the fart-word or watch The Simpsons. I have grown accustomed to using the fart-word now, but I still can’t sit down and watch The Simpsons. I feel my mom is going to yell at me if I do.

    • Jessica says:

      Well, I pretty thoroughly grew out of caring what my mom would yell about (terrible? maybe not) But some things just stay deeply ingrained. :)

  23. I don’t fart.
    I extrude air.

  24. No saying the “f ” word when I was growing up. And, because I’m older than you, I was sent out of the room when Laugh-In came on TV.

    • Would it be terrible of me to say that I don’t even know what “Laugh-In” is? :)

  25. Loved all the comments! Did some LoL… Just what I needed today! Thanks.

    • Jessica says:

      I know, right? Never expected the comments of this post to be so entertaining. :)

  26. Pace and Brody say, “It’s been riped!”

  27. I know! I’m late to the party!
    Growing up we passed gas…we did NOT *F* because we were “ladies” (3 girls and a Mom, 1 Bro and a Dad). We also did not say butt, crap, or anything that remotely sounded like a curse word (darn, dang, gosh) or God or Jeez/Jesus (no pun intended but there woulda been hell to pay for that). However: we thoroughly enjoyed the Simpsons (and other shows that I feel will out me, some of which are making major comebacks on MTV and newspaper crosswords for some reason). I cannot to this day say the *F* word even though my husband (and my three kids) gives me ample opportunity. I say they’re “gassy”, they say “Did you see that duck run by!?” I also cannot sit through an episode of the Simpsons anymore! Somehow I grew out of that…

    Thank you for reminding me of upbringing…
    “raise a child in the way he should go and he will not depart from it”
    Love this.


  1. The N Word. says:

    […] The F Word, the N word was totally acceptable at my house growing […]