Respect Yourself Enough to Walk Away {From Crappy Facebook Ideology}

“Respect yourself enough to walk away from anything that no longer serves you, grows you, or makes you happy. “


This scrolled across my facebook newsfeed recently. (Ahh facebook, you give me so many things to blog about).


The inner-peace-seeking-hippie inside of me wanted to agree with it, wanted to throw my fist in the air and yell “Amen!” Or perhaps cross my legs all zen-like and knowingly whisper “namaste”.


But I couldn’t.  I just couldn’t bring myself to agree with this method of living and leaving. I mean, I sort of, kind of, maybe understand what they were getting at (that’s the part of me that wants to do the exclamatory agreeing) but it just doesn’t hold up in practice when you pour a big ole bucket of reality on top and stir.


Do you know how many times my marriage hasn’t served me, grown me, or made me happy?


Um, I don’t know.  Like a billion.  Okay, that’s obviously an exaggeration.  But seriously, y’all – life and love and religion is hard. So. freaking. hard. It’s not as black and white as an overly simplistic facebook graphic would like you to think. Life is gray – it is so fantastically gray. (insert poorly played “50 shades” joke here) So gray that sometimes you think the overcast will never lift and it’s all you can do to stop yourself from running. All you can do.


Now, that being said – I think you do have to make respecting yourself a priority.  And I’ll be the first to admit that I’ve done a craptastic job with this in my lifetime. I haven’t respected my body, I haven’t respected my time.  I’ve been haphazard and neglectful all around. And I don’t think I’m alone in this. I think most of us zombie our way through life only half living.


Quit that crap.  Seriously.


Live. Love. Serve. Grow. Invest. Meditate. Focus. Explore the limits of that amazing freaking body that you’ve been gifted with.


But don’t go traipsing off in search of greener grass just because yours is gray.  Fertilize that junk.  For real.


What are your thoughts on respecting yourself enough to pursue a life worth living?



*I am in no way endorsing staying in an abusive or harmful relationship.  Those are special circumstances.

Grab the free printable. ;)


  1. Love that! Fertilize that junk! 3 words that say “Shut up and do something about it!” Love it!

    • And I’m not always good at taking my own advice! But you know what they say, when life is s#$%, make fertilizer. Or something. ;)

  2. Good post, Jessica. I remember seeing the FB post you’re referring to go by, and I considered jumping in the debate that went on in the comments. (Actually, I think I threw in a joke…..)

    I think you could split the poster into two versions, one you agree with and one you don’t. For the two versions, replace “anything” with “any thing” and “any person”. If the question is related to “things”, yeah, I agree with it — walk away if it’s not helping you grow. If the question is talking about people and relationships, not so much — there is much to be gained by sticking it through a hard experience (and much to be lost by bailing out rather than working it out.)

    Part of the issue also relates to who we are, what we grew up with, and where our self-image comes from. For example, coming from a family with alcoholism, I became the classic ‘child of an alcoholic’ — tries to make others happy, stifles their own needs and wants, goes out of the way to avoid conflict. That carried over even when I became an alcoholic myself, and when I went on the wagon 20+ years ago, and when I’ve been involved in church ministry, etc. It took me a while to figure out that, while I understood God’s grace when it came to being forgiven of my sin, I was in some ways living under “Law” in terms of my own ministry and attempts to do things for God. Although I knew in my neart that God accepted me, I still felt a compulsion to do works for him that was really coming from my lack of self esteem and my need to earn approval. i.e., I had to learn the difference between feeling guilty when seeing a need and feeling God’s call to meet that need. Know what I mean?

    One thing…. try not to let the self-deprecating comments earn a home with you. You may not be happy with some aspects of yourself, but if you focus on what is good, you might discover that God doesn’t give a rip about some of the stuff you’re worried about — God sees you as the beautiful woman that you are becoming, not as someone that’s falliing short as part of his creaton. .

    • “I had to learn the difference between feeling guilty when seeing a need and feeling God’s call to meet that need. Know what I mean? ” – I’m still learning this one , as well!

      Focusing on the good is probably one of my biggest challenges.

  3. Yes, yes, yes… I’ve seen that image on FB and have had many of the same thoughts. That whole thing may sound good *in theory* but if you stop to think about it, the reality sinks in. You’ve hit the nail on the head here, J.

  4. It’s a sign of the times. We live in an ‘all about me’ kind of world.
    And I so agree with you. We do need to stand up for ourselves and show ourselves respect, but that doesn’t mean we should take it so far as to believe we are the center of the universe. Sometimes that one relationship or activity that doesn’t do anything for You, is actually serving a cause that’s not you or it’s growth for someone else. Sometimes it’s about the other person and not us. Or about our marriage, or the neighbor who drives us crazy but probably just needs a good dose of doting and love.
    Great post. Thanks for sharing.

    • And sometimes that trying relationship that I’m pouring myself into is at least helping me to develop more patience, am I right? :)

  5. Hmm, I should try doing that. It’s hard to know sometimes when to walk away, and when to stay and make it better.

    And I need to teach myself how to respect myself more. I don’t give ANY grace to myself! I always assumed you weren’t supposed to, that giving yourself grace is just some liberal self-esteem egocentric bullcrap.

    • For me, activities are easy to walk away from if they’re not benefiting my life. But I find it nearly impossible to walk away from people that aren’t benefiting my life. I’ve done it a couple of times with good reason but it’s not easy.

      And yeah, I’m probably my biggest enemy.

  6. I totally agree. For most of my life I had no respect for myself…I really thought no one had respect for me. I never thought that life had much of a point but to my shock and amazement it did. There were things I had to walk away from to find the point. You know, the normal things Jesus doesn’t like…parties, sex, drugs, abusive people, and most of all my uncanny ability to not see the good in life. Now I don’t let things get me down or discourage me. I keep trucking. When I’m mot sure if a situation is ideal I sit and ask God to change me to deal with it or to help me to change the situation. Now my life is great. Most of the time. There’s nothing I would change, everything put me here. I’m completely happy with that.

    • Yep, those things are the obvious kind to walk away from. I’m glad that you don’t let things get you down now. I still easily get discouraged sometimes.

  7. Seriously the greatest line is, “But don’t go traipsing off in search of greener grass just because yours is gray. Fertilize that junk. For real.” I want to print it off and hang it on my fridge. Thank you for this completely awesome post. For real.

  8. I am in love with your thoughts on this and agree wholeheartedly! When that quote first floated into my life, I embraced it because it applies to a toxic situation I am in, but otherwise I was feeling like I didn’t agree with it completely. Thank you for sharing your thoughts!!! :)
    So happy to discover this site!