A series for those of us that need reminding that God is still in the business of changing lives.
Today my daily walk with my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ is full of peace, joy, love, and contentment. It also consists of love for my neighbor and my Christian brother and sister. I must also remember God’s love for me to show me to love me enemies. He shows me a love I cannot afford, and for that love I give Him all the honor and glory.
In 1974 I chose a life of lust of the flesh, money, drug addiction, alcoholism, and just about anything else Satan would give me. God’s way of life was too demanding for me. To follow God would mean that I would have to give up all the wordly desires that Satan told me would be mine.
That’s when it became all about me.
From this time on it was nothing but physical and mental destruction. Since it was all about me, I started down that dark road of sin. Everyone that I loved, as well as my friends I loved and had done so many wonderful things together, began finding other things to do without me. I figured if that’s what they wanted to do, let them, I didn’t care.
The same went for my love life. I married this woman whom I thought I loved, but after the “I Do’s” I began to abuse her mentally, though not physically. We had a beautiful daughter whom we named Heather. She was such a beautiful child. But because of my ways, I haven’t seen my daughter since 1980.
My selfish life went on. By this time my life depended on drugs and alcohol to make it through each day. I had completely lost respect for myself or anyone else. Nobody wanted nothing to do with Clayton – that was an ugly name that no one wanted any part of. But who cared? I didn’t, even though my life was falling apart.
The addictions got worse and I was all alone. I had nothing in my life, I had even lost my place where I was living. This is when I got scared because I had nowhere to go.
I was all alone.
And that’s how I found my way to Sweetwater Baptist shelter for men. This is where I let go and let God have my life. I was ready and willing to let God take as wretched a sinner as myself and make me new in His image. I begged for mercy and compassion and I opened my heart to Him. At that moment I asked God to lead me to the cross His one and only son poured out His precious blood for my innocence on before He rose and conquered the grave. And God testified, He has given us eternal life, and this life is in His son Jesus Christ.
I believe in my heart that all them years I lived in darkness that God in all His awesome glory and honor was with me.
I was broken, but now I live.