I Was Broken: Alyssa

A series for those of use that need the reminder that God is still in the business of changing lives.

 

- Alyssa

 

My conversion experience was completely ordained by God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. Had God not intervened, I would probably be dead or severely depressed. I did not grow up going to church on a regular basis nor did I read my Bible, and maybe every once in awhile I would send up a prayer. I called myself a “Christian” and answered all the “church” questions right. I even “prayed that prayer” and was involved with Bible Study in high school, but I was not leading a Godly life.  I did not have a complete conversion until I was seventeen.

 

 I was struggling with depression, and I was losing the battle. I had been cutting myself on and off since I was in the eighth grade. Until one day, I was home after a weekend getaway and I was feeling really depressed. God impressed on my heart on the drive home that my life was in disarray. Knowing how the Holy Spirit works, by the time I was home I was in a mess. I was at the point where I was ready to kill myself or truly surrender to God. I knew the gaping hole in my chest was either going to kill me or bring me to life. I got down on my knees and I just prayed for God’s freedom and mercy. God surrendered me to the belief that the debt Christ paid on the cross was my sin debt and because of mercy and inconceivable grace I was given the same inheritance as a co-heir with Christ.

 

Since that day God has been molding me and I believe that. I have struggled with things since that day, but it all goes back to Jesus Christ being Lord of my life. I struggled for a short time with pornography and finally the Holy Spirit revealed to me the importance of Christ being Lord of all. The pornography struggle grew significantly smaller the same day I realized that being a “Christian” was more than a prayer. Being a “Christian” requires one to be like a “little Christ” and to be a “little Christ” one has to be an imitator of Christ. I had to give up the crud that was making me un-Christ like, and that is what it meant to make Jesus Christ Lord of my life.

 

To put it bluntly: if my relationship with God were a drain then all the gross funk hair was my sin. I was clogged, until the Holy Spirit draino ate my sin away one piece of crud at a time.

 

To say that God made me walk this road alone would be a lie, because God provided me with His spirit and a human best friend that stayed up many nights helping me past a lot of my gunk. My friend Rachel, who’s testimony you’ve heard before, was the first person I ever met that strove to be as Christ-like as possible. Her transformation and support encouraged me through some dark times. If anything, I believe God used that friendship as a means to show me that I wasn’t created to do life alone.

 

I hope this encourages others in the same way that God has used His spirit and friendships to encourage me.

 

I Was Broken, But Now I Live.

 

 

Comments

  1. :D I love you and somehow appreciate your sink illustration, though it makes me gag a little. You are beautiful, bro!

  2. Praise God for his mercy & grace that he answers when we call. Thank you for sharing your testimony.

  3. Thanks for this very great post about your conversion. Indeed, we are but rugs before God but He made us clean again so that He can use us for His worthwhile purpose.
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