Dear Libido, Calm Down.


I spent the first 10 years of my marriage not wanting to have sex as much as my husband and really not caring about it much in general (Insert tired joke about our record for procreating here). I’m told this is perfectly normal.


I’ve never been turned on by someone other than my husband. Ever. Since falling for this guy as a teenager I’ve never looked at anyone else and thought a sexual thought. Even the super sexy ones. Like Brad Pitt. I mean sure, I could check a box affirming that they were indeed pleasing to the eye, technically. But I just didn’t care. Meh. Whatever.


Occasionally in the dozen years we’ve spent together, that husband of mine would throw out a statistic about how many times a minute men think about sex or how boys are, supposedly, turned on by nearly every woman they see. And I would scrunch up my face, equal parts disgusted and unbelieving. There’s no way people think about sex that much. How is that even possible? Perverts.


And for as long as I can remember I’ve heard whispers from the grapevine that women “peak” sexually in their 30’s. That things heat up as they get closer to this 3 decade mile marker. Well folks, I’m not going to bother to look up the scientific evidence to support or refute those claims. I don’t have to. I have all the evidence I need – in my burnin’ loins. Cause y’all, they’re afire.


Not only am I jonesing for that sexy husband of mine, I’m pretty much turned on by everyone. Everywhere. For any reason.


Climbing the stairs at church behind some lad (who’s face I can’t even see) I think, “Man those are some nice calves”. Calves!

Standing around mingling in a crowd of new faces I look down at the company of sandals and flip flops around me and my mind whispers, “Those are some sexy feet.” Feet!


Hands, feet, calves, eyes, hair – you name it, I’m turned on by it. (Aren’t you so glad you tuned in to the blog today?


I’m sure there are medical, psychological, hormonal, whateverthecrap answers for my new “condition”. But I don’t really care about that. What I’m more than ever concerned with is guarding my heart; protecting myself from my own thoughts getting me in trouble. I have a new found empathy with guys dealing with this lusty heart thing.


And why am I telling you any of this? Cause , like I’ve been saying lately, I’m tired of hiding away the taboo parts of our lives, of everyone struggling and thinking they’re the only one. We all have these crazy, hard, weird struggles in life. And I’m tired of struggling alone – hiding away the embarrassing, shameful bits of our souls because it’s awkward and we’re afraid of being judged or misunderstood. Alone is a terrible place to be.


So, I’ve got this suddenly revved up libido. That’s what’s going on with me. Any other ladies or men out there dealing with (or have dealt with) the same thing?  What do you do to protect your mind and heart when sex is on the brain?


P.S. I’m going to link up over at Life: Unmasked today. Check it out.



photo by Selma Hodzic



  1. LOVE this! You’re human.

    My first thought when I saw this on FB was, “Oh, is she JUST turning 33-34?”

    And also? This? “…in my burnin’ loins. Cause y’all, they’re afire.” THAT is blog gold, baby. BLOG GOLD!!

    • Hey, I’m just turning 34 soon. Will it be a “good” year for my husband? I have been completely disinterested in sex the past probably 7 years and now all of a sudden I am way more on board. :)

    • Technically, I’m still 29. But I’m getting closer to 30 every day!

  2. Yes I can relate (not so much to thinking about other people but just higher libido with my husband than ever before when I hit the 30’s). We then went and had another baby (when I was 33 yrs) and I then said “Bye Bye Libido” again. Hoping when I stop breastfeeding it comes back with vengeance ;)

    • I’m sure the baby thing is a factor. My baby is 4 so I think my body is just now recovering, in a lot of ways, from my baby making years.

  3. Honestly, I can’t think of a time when I wasn’t some sex hound, and that definitely increased in my 30’s. I don’t know how much of it was hormonal and how much of it was just finally being comfortable with my body and with my husband’s enjoyment of my body, but regardless, it’s been fun. Less fun when he’s gone a lot, but still. Fun.

    As for guarding my heart and mind, I’ve been rethinking the whole idea of attraction a lot. I’m trying not to be afraid of attraction to people who aren’t my spouse, but to look at ways to reframe it in a healthy manner. To celebrate beauty and connectedness but recognize that just because there is attraction doesn’t mean that it has to be sexual. By recognizing it and giving it a name, I find that I take away its power. Things that are hidden make life a bit more comfortable, but they also lead a lot more quickly to things that hurt. Being open about attraction, even if only with myself and my husband, it just makes it another emotion and I can move on.

    • You. Oh, you. You’re probably one of the reasons I was finally brave enough to post this. :) Thanks for putting your awesome out there.

    • Great point, Alsie.
      I’ll share a story that might be helpful: Two days in a row on my way to work I passed the same young lady walking.
      The first day I barely got a glimpse of her and quickly looked away for fear of perving out over her. I spent the entire rest of the drive to work thinking about her via effeort to not think about her. I don’t know that I was necessarily being pervy about it, but I was tad OCD for those next 20 minutes.
      The next morning I caught a glimpse of said young woman again (same driving route)and decided to take a good long look, made a comment to God along the lines of “You do some really good work!” and then proceeded to have nary the thought of her except when I realized later what had happened.

      Since then I have tried to live by the credo that it is fine to admire the neighbor’s flowers as long as you’re not plotting to rip them out of the ground and bring them home. I actually think to do otherwise is subhuman and wonder why we somehow assume (at least normal people assume) that we should be aware of peoples’ physical beauty enough to find our future spouses attractive when we’re single, but somehow we are suppossed to shut it off when we get married.

  4. Mmmm… Now try that with a cruelly inattentive husband, followed by nearly 2 years of separation and a pending divorce, while raising three boys alone, and the only job you can manage to get is working in a hardware store which has a 95% male customer base. Yeah. That. Yay celibacy.

    It sucks, to be sure. Torturous, really. But I prayed for the Lord to calm down my libido, and He was QUICK to answer.

  5. So someone finally had the guts to say it. As a woman who, like you I think, seeks God and his will for my life, this “hello I’m back in my single 20’s. And want to wear dangly earrings and stick my butt out a little is c-r-a-z-y. Where did it come from? WHY is my mind and body flipping out and betraying me? I love my husband and this heart racing stuff is bizarre… and thrilling…and imagining… and sleepless… and I pray more….a lot more….. to nip those thoughts in the bud.

    • “Why is my body flipping out and betraying me?” <-- Love that. I've been flabbergasted. Where did this come from?!

  6. Oh yes, I play the “I’d hit that” game a lot! Doesn’t take much either. If someone looks cute in flip flops, I’ll be like, “Show me some piggies, baby!”

    Of course, I don’t touch. Or cat call. I just look.

  7. Get to jumping your husband every chance you get and perfect the art of shaking your own tree. ;) Seriously, trying to deny this business will only make it worse, enjoy it!

  8. OK, I’m not usually one to admit this to anyone but the hubs but here goes. I’m a fiend. My loins? Pretty much always aflame. My libido is the vast and dangerous Atlantic Ocean to his serene backyard pond. Has it caused some stress and struggle in our relationship? Yes. But we get through.

    I have to work really, really hard to guard my heart because, yes, temptation abounds when you’re in an inflamed state. When I notice books I’m reading, movies I’m watching, pretty much anything getting me fired up beyond my baseline I put them aside. My fire doesn’t need fuel, thanks. When I find myself eyeballing calves, glutes (I have a thing for nice glutes), or whatever, I have to very consciously focus on other things. Because yes looking is normal but that doesn’t mean I can or should DWELL upon what I see. And every great, great once in a while conversations with my guy friends stray into uncomfortable territory so I change the subject or even distance myself for a while until I can get my hormones under control.

    For the record, I’m fairly sure your hubby would be more than happy to “scratch that itch” for you as often as he’s able. And that does help keep the fire under control. And as an added bonus, apparently scratching itches is great for burning calories. Also, I don’t recommend it as a general rule but I did discover that a certain form of hormonal birth control that I was on for several years for entirely other reasons dampened my libido back to a semi-normal state. So if you HAVE to be on the stuff, it does have that up-side. Which is a down-side if your libido is already normal or low. But that’s not a problem I’ve ever had. :-P

    • Oh Mari, you vixen. Thanks for sharing your vixen wisdom.

    • MARI!! I was about to despair that I was entirely alone – and then I read this and thought, “Oh, FINALLY, someone else who will admit it!!” I am definitely the high-desire partner in our relationship, and through a LOT of prayer, we’ve come to a place that works well in our relationship. If you haven’t read it yet, I really LOVE the stuff over at Simple Marriage (, where the author addresses a lot of those issues from a Christian viewpoint.

      Will keep praying for all my “Sisters in Loinhood!!!” ;-)

      • The funny thing is that the reason I don’t admit it is because I don’t want to hurt the hubby’s ego. LOL I don’t really much care who knows about MY struggles but so many men have a lot of ego tied up in their loins and I would hate to embarrass him. I’m going to rely upon the discretion of the internet to not let this get back to him (well, that and the fact that he would die before he read a non-political, non-geek blog).

        Thanks for the link. Oh, and I’m guessing you meant since the .com version is a parked domain – just in case anyone else wants to check it out.

    • Woot for you Mari, and Joan! I have ALWAYS been the more sexual one in our marriage – well at least since we left high school behind. As I get older, my libido is finally slowing down!!! LOL I am kind of glad that I can go for days, nay, weeks now without thinking about sex. Especially since hubs is half a world away!!! Deployments were rough before, but not they are a thousand times better because when we finally get to talk there is no sexual tension. Just two best friends chatting. ;0) But watch out when he gets home!

      • Now wait just a darn minute. This is an interesting unschooling mama pattern. Lol!

        • It sure is!!! And I think it’s especially interesting because, as Mari points out, there’s a lot tied up in discussing this – not wanting to hurt your partner, for sure, but come on. If EVER this topic comes up in conversation, you know the turn is always toward being the wife who’s the “no” and the husband who’s the “yeah baby!” I think it’s just so reassuring to know that, like with every other issue in marriage, there is no gender stereotype!

  9. Can you say “Cougar”! I am 46 and it’s not that I want a younger man but when it comes to Libido, I think it’s God’s cruel joke that women speed up when men are slowing down.

    • I may or may not have said this VERY thing to my husband this week. :)

    • You joke but as a single girl approaching thirty I’ve seriously considered that I’m going to have to look for a younger guy because in 10 years I’d honestly rather have a 35 year old sex-drive in my bed than a 43 year old one. Though if my parents are any example… :)

  10. My husband asks me every week now that I’m 30 that if my peak is here. Poor guy has been waiting since we were 16 and 17.

    • Well, don’t let my burnin’ example make you feel bad. There could be so many factors do these things.

  11. I am so grateful that you posted this! Flipping crazy how revved up one gets in her thirties. I too have become enormously sympathetic when it comes to men’s outrageous libidos. I’m somewhat envious that they learned early how to avert their eyes or play it cool because I’m not so good at it. Didn’t expect to have to relearn how to compose myself at 36. Good to know I’m not alone.

  12. Thanks for the picture to go with this, in case anyone was wondering what you were “really” talking about. I don’t even care what it says about me that this is the first of your posts I’ve commented on in months :) I’m just happy to be here with all of you. However, I’m going to have to put a kibosh on the use of the word “loin” right now. It just makes me think of a pork loin and that’s not especially sexy to me.

    To be honest, I could have said “calm down” to my libido at any point between 14 ys old and 30 seconds ago. The frustrating thing is that, though I may have been able to (mostly) keep a lid on this for the past 13+ years, I’m now 27, still single, and there’s a storm a-brewing on the horizon and in my pants.

    I have always made jokes about my “manly” appetite for sex but never really acknowledged that pent up sexual frustration was a legitimate issue for me until even my female christian counselor said, “You seriously need to think about getting married in the next few years so you have a healthy outlet for your sex drive, otherwise this is going to become a real problem for you.” Yeah thanks, hon. I’ll get right on that.

    Sorry, I don’t have a lot of advice on keeping your sexual thoughts inside your own fenceline, because I am not married myself. Now, I’ve never really struggled with being attracted to other women’s men, that’s a turn-off for me, but that doesn’t really help if 1) I don’t KNOW that they’re married and, 2) you consider the fact that every single man doesn’t actually belong to me either. And “taking every thought captive” for me is a bit like herding cats…

    So I’m listening if anyone has any hot tips besides “stop it” or “have more sex,” because there is no sex-having in my house… *sigh*

    • Thank you for your honesty! I was just thinking that this must be such a hard thing for all the single ladies out there.

      • Hey thanks for posting it! You’re generally pretty good about being real but this was especially awesome. I get frustrated with the radio-silence as well but am still making peace with a few of my own demons before I start laying it all out there, so I appreciate you :-)

        • I was so nervous about this post yesterday that I ALMOST didn’t run it. Glad I pushed through the fear. :)

      • Yep! I’m 35 and single and there are days when I want to tear out every hair from my head. It SUUUUUUUUUUCKS! : )

        Carry on.

        • Girl, I don’t even know what to say. “I’m sorry” seems too morbid.

          This is the part where I go all “Chandler” and say something awkward and inappropriate.

    • I’m with you, Sarah. A single woman in her 20’s who truly loves the idea of waiting until I’m married to have sex. But, with no boyfriend, no prospects, the horizon is looking a little dim. This consant “waiting” for someone to have sex with is getting a little glum. Haha. I wasn’t a high school or college student with a high libido and I really didn’t have any interest in sex at all, as my roommates ran out to the store to buy condoms every other weekend. Now that I’m living on my own and seeing friends get married, my libido is definitely on the rise. Any advice on how to wait patiently, beside praying, because I do a heck of a lot of that, would be much appreciated.

      • If nothing else, Kayla. I just prayed for you! Solidarity, my Sexy Sistah!

        It doesn’t help that I actually started a sexual relationship with my long-term boyfriend way back when I was 18. I can’t say for sure it’s worse when you have actual memories, but I am guessing it is. In any case, I’m glad you don’t have the weird sexual baggage that comes from that. So stoked for you! Think of all of those years of waiting as “storing” be careful not to frighten your poor unsuspected husband on your wedding night ;-)

        Sometimes all you can do is pray then find something else to do, preferably something physically satisfying that makes you feel fun and girly. I don’t know what your views are on dancing, but that’s a good one for me. Probably not a good idea to hit the club when you’re randy :-) but I like to go to a girlfriend’s house and blast candy-pop and have a dance party in the kitchen. Zumba or a hip-hop exercise class are awesome too. It’s definitely not the same “outlet” that you’re body is looking for but it gets your blood moving and makes you feel girly and sexy.

        • Hahahaha. I can just picture all of this “stored” up energy. My poor future husband, haha. Check back in future years for my own high libido blog entry.

  13. I’ve never been the disinterested type, way too much libido and as for tips on reining it in if you’re single-avoid being alone with men if you are avoiding sex. I know it sounds obvious, but you seriously have to be intentional or you’ll find yourself where you don’t want to be. (personal experience). My hubs is pretty happy with this increase-trying to NOT get preggers makes it interesting!

  14. Awe-SOME! And as one who is now 39 (ACK!) I have to say, it’s just so much better and more lively now. And more adventurous… Well, that’s another post! Keep those 30’s truckin’! But in all seriousness, praying about purity of mind and heart is a must too. Well said, Jess.

    • Am I the only one that thinks, “Why were we so interested in this as teenagers? It wasn’t even any good back then!”

      I’m mostly just glad that I’m not the only one. I suspected as much!

  15. Oh boy can I relate! I’m 30 something. ;-) It has been a on and off again over the years. Right now it’s not that bad, but about 6 months ago… that was so hard! Keeping my mind pure was hard. The only thing I found,past praying,that helped at all was sex with hubby and he was working out of state 1/2 the time! YIKES! I was talking dirty to him and trying to get him home faster. LOL

  16. Yes! It’s good to know so many other ladies are horn-dogs too and not just me. My usual response to anything Hubs says (like, “hey…I’m hungry” or “I’m kinda bored” or “We still have a few minutes before we need to leave” or “How was your day?”) is “HEY. Lets go get it on!!” Muah ha ha ha. Although this past year has been less frequent in the love department (because of comment on yesterdays post) the desire has still been there. And these past few weeks, its come back with a vengeance. Like, fo real. My loins have reignited and are so on fire I can hardly keep my pants on.

    In the spirit of honesty, our whole relationship is based on sex. It was lust at first sight with us. We got to all the “Getting to know you” parts that I think most people have in the beginning of a relationship after we moved in together…those first 2 or so months we “dated” (because there wasn’t really much actual dating. Heh) were all about the loins. Less talk, more naked. Then one day we thought “hey, lets shack up” so we did, and the rest is history.

    Although I don’t have that attraction to everyone. I’ve always had the horny blinders on when it comes to other men. Oh, I notice if a guy is attractive, but I generally don’t play the “I’d hit that” game…unless they’re tall. Or have sleeved out arm tattoos. Or tall with sleeved out arms. And facial hair. Holy crap, I still have hours before Hubs gets home!

  17. Way to go on this post! Nice and transparent. I don’t struggle so much with libido at 41, but just seeing attractive men and then daydreaming…that’s where I struggle. I pray, pray, pray up one side and down the other. It’s actually where I feel closest to God sometimes because it can be so hard and I feel like he’s in the trenches with me.

  18. I have been wondering what the heck was going on with me down there – LOL. When I was much younger (19 – 22) my sex drive was pretty crazy – but I like to call that my “first awakening” – lol – it was really just the understanding that I was a sexual being and that I had some kind of control over that and my body. Now I’m 32 and things are starting to heat up in a whole different way. (From 23 – 31 things were a little on the cool side.)

    • Obviously we (as a culture) need to talk about these things more so we’re all not thinking we’re sexual freaks of nature. :)

  19. Wait, you mean my libido could get higher?! That’s dangerous… But I have always had the higher sex drive in our marriage, and it has caused tension and lust problems and sin that I am ashamed of. But it has also caused me to grow ever closer to my savior and made me oh-so-thankful that he is real and that he is along this journey with me, that he is with me the strongest when I am struggling the most, and that he really did take the penalty for my diseased state of being.

  20. Your husband is o BLESSED!!!!!! He must be avery HAPPY, HAPPY man! I found the same in my 30’s, We have been together since highschool too. I was 16 and he was 18 when we started dating.
    I am definately a very passionate woman. Songs of Solomon has always been a book that takes my breath away. now, at 52 …the freedom we have since i am through menopause * oh my goodness *… it is all new again! :o) Enjoy every minute ! The LORD made being *one * so powerful, pure and good!

    • Your husband sounds blessed, as well. ;)

    • So glad to hear a shout out to post-menopasual happiness! I’m 41 and feeling peri-menopause, but like the rest of you, I had the roaring 30’s going on! Thanks for putting this topic out in the open. As sisters, we can share what we are learning. That whole older women teaching the younger women thing in the Bible is for sure a good idea!

  21. You’d think that most men would be thrilled to be in a relationship with an oversexed woman, someone who in fact wants sex more frequently than her mate.

    But that isn’t always the case. This reversal of what is often looked at as the more traditional sexual roles can be a bit off putting.

    I think men can be a bit intimidated by a female that’s clamoring to do the humpty-hump too frequently–particularly if this is a strange, new occurrence.

    I think there can be a pressure to perform that isn’t there when the man is the instigator.

    Still, as a man, I take my hat off to your guy and would like to tell him personally, “Lucky Bastard!”

    • Yeah, I think my husband may possibly have felt that way recently.

      And I’ll share the lucky bastard comment. ;)

  22. Giiiiiiiiiiiirl, it is so true!! My 20’s were swamped in tough marriage crap (who wants to have sex when you don’t even want to be in the same room?!?!?!), 3 babies (I guess we got along sometimes! lol), life threatening illness (hubs had cancer 12 yrs ago), grad school, full time job, dishes, diapers, Mt Laundry, and the needs needs needs and more needs of every flippin’ person who lived under the same roof as me. Who even wanted to think about sex? That was just 1 more need from 1 more person who wanted 1 more thing from me before I could put my head on the pillow at night, fall into an exhausted sleep, only to begin again the next day.

    But. Then. Came. Almost. 30. Oh. My. Goodness.
    Several things happened actually—- (1) my husband and I grew up and stopped fighting against each other, we learned how to communicate better, and we began working better as a team. (2) He learned that lingerie or asking me for a quickie was not foreplay, but rather doing dishes or going to football practice with the boys was! “Gee, maybe if she isn’t so dang tired all the time, she may have some energy left for me!” (3) I stopped being so freaking self-conscious/body conscious. Let’s face it—those bumps and dimples in my thighs and belly are there because we had sex and I got pregnant 3 times in 4 years!!! I had to get over that. Droopy boobs and wrinkly belly and all that “I’m a mom” glory.

    Oh yeah…. and I turned 30 and that “Gee I think about sex all. the. time.” switch got turned on! Did I mention all. the. time?!?!?!? Yeah. Constant brain loop. And now I’m 37. And the loop is still on full-speed-ahead. He’s not complainin’. :)

  23. GIRL! You know I’m a regular reader and loved your honest before. DEF love’n it now!
    I just turned 28 and I’m the crazy that had self-esteem issues bc I was wanting “it” more than my hubs. Yep, there it is. It’s out there now. I was the odd female thinking about it often. Or at least differently than my hubs.
    I haven’t come across the being turned on by others…yet! But you are right. We need to guard against that. “FLEE Temptation”
    I love what I heard a crazed consignment shopper say, “You can’t want something you never saw.” So true! My strategy is to “flee” potentially harmful situations:
    1. My husband & I are never alone with someone of the oposite sex.
    2. I avoid women porn {books & movies portraying an unrealistic man or relationship}
    3. Do “it” often with my hubs ;o)

    Thanks for sharing Jessica!

  24. I’m thinking somewhere, somehow, taboo has to have an upside. At the very least, loss of taboo would seriously reduce humor in the world, which would not be good.

  25. The way we deal with over- fired libido is to talk about it with my husband. Who I fancy, what turns me on etc. It brings it into the light and stops it festering. We can both connect over it and Jesus can be invited into it all – after all he made me the way I am. My husband understands its just chemical and that I live him. It’s nothing to be ashamed of but it needs to be managed.

  26. First I want to say I am so glad to see that I am not alone and that someone has finally said something about it. When I had my twin boys I thought it was a cruel trick that they stole the whole libido and for about six years I have not even come close to thinking about it. Here comes my 31 birthday last April and it started as a full blown cruel trick again because I wanted it but I still cannot have it because ha ha I have a complex cyst on my right ovary that could rupture. Wow, Very cruel . However, when my friends said it would happen in my thirties I did not believe them but I have to apologize to them because they are so right and it is def. worth the wait. I just hope I can hold out a little longer until I can take care of the ovary problem. I will so have to pray about it because it is extremely hard right now especially since it has been building up since April. Anyway, thinks for posting this and for all of the other commenters I am so glad we all are not alone! :)

    • Oh girl, I’m so sorry to hear that. I used to survive my husband’s 6 month deployments relatively fine in my early 20’s. But last year he was gone for 2 weeks and I thought I was going to die. Will pray for you!

  27. Just want to say that I’ve had the same experience. It felt like a duty in my 20s. Things changed at around age 35. My husband was all, “YES! Finally.” It really has brought us closer. Literally.

  28. Tanya Marlow says:

    Loving this! Burning loins – ace!
    And I just laughed aloud at keeping the home fires burning…

    So – I’m 33 – when’s this going to kick in for me then? Although – I did find myself admiring the male form more than I used to…

  29. GIRL. DAYUM. You know how to light up a comment feed!

    I’m 36 and it’s just now starting. Of course, I may be a late-bloomer because of all the major crises that hit us 5 years ago. My husband is VERY happy that I’m initiating more and willing to experiment more. *ahem*

    • Dayum is right. I had no idea it would inspire such a response. Apparently I’m really not the only one needing to bring this out into the light. Lol.

  30. missed that decade says:

    Well, crap. Maybe our problem was that we had our kids spread across her 30’s, so the decade that was supposed to get hot was left in that mode of giving me the bare minimum. Frankly sort of tired of the whole bare minimum routine. We avoid gluttony with food because we don’t want the consequence of getting fat, but the only downside of frequent sex is satisfaction.

    Love my wife! But, I do wish she let me love her more often.

    • Oh, sorry man. Definitely the baby thing. I had all 4 babies by the time I was 25 so I’ve had a few years to recover from that now.

  31. This was so needed. I’m really proud of you for not wimping out by not posting it! You are blazing a trail for women to be real and open up so they can find connection through things that matter most. You were really brave and you spoke for a lot of women who needed to be heard. Thank you for sharing with us. I hope you are as blessed as your readers have been.

  32. I can second it. I feel like I’m running a meat market in my head lately. It’s awful. And he has slowed down for whatever reason, so we’re not even close to running the same race. I think I exhaust him. He just took on a second job and I think I boggle his mind with my requested frequency. I’ve actually backed off from being physically close with some of our male friends because a couple months ago I bumped into one while trying to pass in the same doorway and thought “hey there!” involuntarily! Someone that I would in NO way want to be with at all. I’m not even sure I’d “hit that”, on my worst best day lol!!! But the fact that my body reacted that way left me keeping distance because there are just some people I never want to think of in that way, lol!!!! I have total mercy on men now. And I also want to tell every roofer in town to keep their stinkin’ shirts on so I don’t drive off the road when I pass them, lol!

  33. SIGH…lol…thank you sistah! SIGH. THANK YOU for sharing. I feel you. I was like…”WHAT is going on with me?!” I too have had the feelings of sympathy for our male brethren. What do I do to combat that beast of a libido? PRAY and ask God to help. I meditate and repeat to myself “Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases” (from Song of Solomon…it helps me, for real.) I go to sleep. I sometimes avoid certain tv programs, songs, etc. I confess it to someone (sometimes I get a snicker or a an eyebrow raised.) I cry out of frustration. I then say, “Okay…can I get married already?” (I know marriage isn’t the fix all, but it will sure help with release!!) And I read blogs like this that helps me endure through another episode of fired up loins! God bless you sister. And pray for me! Haha…but seriously.

  34. @ Sarah Elizabeth and The Blah Blah…I feel y’all…I’m single and at times frustrated…and er uh…when I think about it, it’s just not my 30’s…it was before then but now it’s more intense. I was recently in a relationship so that didn’t help. I do hope to be married within the next few years…God willing…until then…yeah, divert attention, get active, or just go to sleep.

  35. I haven’t read all the comments… but I wonder if that happens as a way to ensure that a woman does get to have some babies since her most fertile years are about to end??? I remember being just like you are when I was around my 30s… then in the last 3 years not so much… I will be 42 this year… don’t feel old, until you reminded me of my 30s burning groins!! hahaha

    I do feel extra sensual and wanting some action during my most fertile days of the month… and physiology can explain that. I wonder what will happen when menopause strikes??? Nature can be so tricky! LOL

  36. I’m so glad I read this….. my husband is practically hiding under the bed at the moment….. I’ve scared the poor guy half to death i think….. he never had much of a sex drive to begin with! tell me it will pass for the love of god….. there are days when i’m so wound up that it’s physically painful….. and the filthy dreams about random school run dads are playing hob with my sleep….. this crap is exhausting and hubby is feeling like the only pickled onion in a fruit salad…