I’m a little bit obsessed with chapstick. Always have been. In high school you would have never ever found me without a tube of chapstick in the pocket of my jeans. It was necessary to my very existence – like air or ponytail holders.
Well, that hasn’t really changed. I don’t know if it’s because I was blessed with fairly fully lips, or just because I’ve developed an addiction to moisturizing, but if I go longer than a few minutes without reapplying my lips hurt, y’all. I have chappedlipitis. I’ve never actually recorded how often I apply the balmy stuff, but I know it’s multiple times an hour.
And to ensure that I’m never too far from lipsoothery, I keep a constant supply stashed around the house in opportune places. If one of these ever goes missing it makes my life a little sadder and dryer. Don’t believe me? Well, let’s take a chapstick tour, shall we?
My laptop sits in front of this chair most of the time, so this particular stick is very important to me. I need to be able to re-moisturize lightening fast while doing rully important things like reading articles and watching hulu.
The deskstick is the flipside to the chairstick coin. This one sticks (ha) beside the desktop computer to make sure I never have to feel nary an uncomfortable lip while I type up rully important posts like this one. In fact, you guessed it, I’m all Burt’s Beesed up this very moment.
This stick keeps me going during those long hours slaving over homemade meals and crusty dishes. It’s literally a lifeline that keeps my lips going until I can move on to a different room and task.
This one gets me through the night. I can reach up at any point and rub the waxy relief on my kisser to keep me moist until morning. Or while me and that husband of mine sit in our bedroom at night watching Grey’s Anatomy on Netflix and such. (Btw, don’t you just love our highly attractive window unit, complete with duct tape?)
Y’all, this might be the most important one. If one of my chapstick hiding places turns up void in the house, I can always begrudgingly walk over to another stash. But if I’m out in public and I reach into my handy bag for relief and come up missing, I panic a little bit. You don’t understand. My lips hurt real bad. And the thought of suffering through until I’m all the way back home again is enough to bring a single sad little clown tear to my eye.
I’ll admit, this one is just a safety net. Located equal distances between chairstick, kitchenstick, and bedroomsticks, this one just sits here idly in case I lose one from a more important location.
I used to keep a carstick on hand as well, but since I generally always have bagstick if I’m in the car, I’ve let that hiding place fall to the chappy wayside.
So, be honest – do you think I’m completely neurotic? It’s okay if you do, it’s no skin off my lip. I know that my life is better because of all of my very special chapstick hoards.