Hello?

Um. Hey? I guess.

I’ve had a couple of people tell me this year that I should start blogging again. And both times I was like – ew, no. Really, what I said was – I don’t have anything to say anymore. {Blonde girl shrug emoji}

Then today I was scrolling along minding my own business and Nish posted this. It got me thinking about why I started blogging and why I stopped blogging and what I would say if I started again.

Act I

Hi, my names is Jessica, I’m from a broken home and have daddy issues.

I started blogging because *gasp* I had no life. I was young and bored and had a million small children (whose idea was that again?) and needed a place to connect with the grown ups.

Well, that’s part of it. The other very real part was that I needed, like, a boat load of attention.

Michael Scott need to be liked quote.

So I really got off on people thinking I was funny or smart or pretty or what the hell ever.

Back then I thought I was God’s gift but was mortally insecure. Mommy blogging filled an emotional need in my life.

Act II

Hi, my name is Jessica and HELL HATH NO FURY.

This is what I like to call my “angry prophet phase”. Basically you take act one and add a healthy dose of self-righteous indignation. You’re welcome. And I’m sorry.

Act III

This is basically just me eating hot pockets, over-drinking, and watching Netflix.

chuch supernatural gif

Oh hay, 50 extra lbs. Where have you been all my life?

Okay, so I’m leaving a lot out. Like the fact that those Acts played out in three different countries. (I mean, nomad is in the title.)

Or how life took a dump on us in some major ways and razed our faith to the ground. How we spent nearly a decade of our life working toward a major career goal / spiritual calling only to have it ripped out from under us a mere 10 months after achieving it. (Who says being deported isn’t fun? Me. I do.)

jurassic park dino poop

Yeah, abandoning a successful and stable military career to pursue financial martyrdom is not the best retirement plan. You didn’t really want to go to college, right kids? Or braces. Or your own room.

What now?

A lot of bloggers of yore have been reminiscing about the good old days and how much fun blogging used to be when we had to walk uphill both ways to wordpress.  Before it was about brand sponsorship and ad revenue and search engine optimization.

That’s true, I guess. But to be honest, I’m not sure if I want to blog again. (Actually, I do still have a blog, sort of. I have a crochet blog. What? I know.)

After the shit show of the last couple of years I feel very – if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all. Oh, I could say a lot. But I think it would get old fast. Kind of like if Daria rode around on Eeyore.

Here’s the short version – Um, I hate everybody, the President’s a cheeto, and I’m essentially agnostic.

katniss curtsey

The compulsive need to be liked isn’t the biggest driving force in my life anymore. All those babies turned into people (which is a lot harder, by the way). So really I feel like I would only use this platform to bitch. (see above)

Instead I design nerdy blankets, try to watch my carbs (it’s not working), and pursue a job in professional side hustling.

So, that’s me. And that’s what’s up. {Blonde girl shrug emoji}

 

 

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