Ten years ago, if you could have walked into our home at Christmas, you would’ve found a pretty traditional scene. We were a pretty typical American Christian family. We had a Christmas tree and lots of presents and decorations that didn’t hold any real meaning.
But somewhere along the line we found ourselves questioning our beliefs and, even more, questioning our actions. And not just during Christmas, but in all areas of our lives.
God laid a deep burden on our hearts for the needs of others around the world and a deep conviction for how much we’ve been given, and how much is expected of us.
And so our traditions began to change.
It wasn’t overnight; it was a process, a journey. We whittled down our decorations. We whittled down our spending. Until one day, we found ourselves finally ready to take the leap, and focus only on Jesus instead of ourselves.
You see, there are some things that he said that I just can’t shake, some images that I just I can’t get out of my head. Like…
I was hungry, and you didn’t give me something to eat.
I was thirsty and you didn’t give me something to drink.
I was homeless and you didn’t let me in.
I needed clothes and you didn’t give any.
I was sick and you didn’t look after me….
I can so easily see myself saying one day, “When, Lord? When?”
And he’ll say, “Whatever you didn’t do for others, you didn’t do for me.”
That gets me, ya’ll. That gets me. And that’s why, when photos like this go around facebook:
I can’t ignore it or write it off. I can’t rationalize it away under the banner of how God loves the 1st world as much as the 3rd and wants to give us good gifts, also. I know there’s a truth in that statement, I do. And of course, we do give good gifts to our children. We give them 364 days a year. But, for me, I can’t bring myself to make the one day of the year we’ve designated to worship Jesus’ birth about us, at all. My heart just can’t do it anymore.
So last year, we started giving the gifts to Jesus.
This morning we sat down with the Gifts of Compassion Catalog. We looked through every item, discussed every option. And, as I attempted to explain the environments that so many millions of children live in around the world, I found I couldn’t stop the pages from blurring. I couldn’t see through the tears as I imagined the suffering and dying of others children. We’ve been given so much.
Not that I begrudge my blessings.
But I have a desire to spread the wealth. To spread the light. To spread the life.
It’s selfish to do anything else.
And, truthfully? Sometimes I genuinely worry exactly how narrow the gate is. And I wonder if one day I will say, “God, it’s me!” and he will say, “I’m sorry, I don’t know you.” I’m afraid he will say, “I was so hungry, why didn’t you feed me, Jessica? Why didn’t you feed me?”
“There was so much darkness, Jessica. Why didn’t you shine? Why didn’t you shine?”
It weighs me down.
Because the truth is, often times my religion is only lip service. More often than not I have more knowledge than practice. So often I say I know God, but I don’t know love. So often I’m a listener and not a doer. And I wonder, am I fooling myself?
So on days like today, I boast in being humbled.
And try to remember how every day I am drooping and withering and fading away. And how short my time to be planted in His fields are. And how great is the harvest. And although I’m still waiting to be sent to His most foreign fields, I can still do good from here.
So this year, for Jesus’ birthday, Seven Year Old is giving him clean water.
Husband is giving him mosquito nets. (Blame the African M.K. that lives within him)
I’m giving him safe and sanitary bathrooms.
Five Year Old is giving him food.
And Eleven Year Old picked life.
I hope He likes his gifts. We really put a lot of thought into them.
What are you getting Jesus for his birthday?
-Jessica
If you’re interested in Compassion’s Christmas catalog, you can view it online here.
And for more stories of people who choose to go giftless, please visit Shaun and Ann. You won’t be sorry you did.
What a blessing! You DO shine! Thanks for spreading your shiny goodness around the interwebs. I hope that may people read this and consider getting involved with Compassion. <3
Michelle ~ Blogging from the Boonies recently posted..Adventures in Fail
Thanks. Sometimes I flicker. ;)
*Cry cry cry*!!!! You and me? We’re kindred. I could’ve easily written this. Easily! I am so glad to know I am not alone. I sure felt alone on Monday when I wrote a post about Compassion and invited people to sponsor a child. I understand not everyone can. And this topic is uncomfortable to the comfortable — to the flesh.
This year. We sponsored a second child. His name is Daniel and he is also from Tanzania–where our other child, Cecilia is.
In addition–we’re giving each family a monetary gift to meet their greatest needs.
It’s such a strange feeling…like real love in action–a fulfilling of Scripture that is just beautiful. Sacrifice that blesses. I’m falling in love with “the least of these”…maybe I’m learning to love Jesus in a whole new way? I don’t know..but even though my flesh still screams for ‘self’ at times {a lot of times}, my spirit is satisfied – I like it. He’s bringing me deeper -
Christin @ Joyful Mothering recently posted..Equipped With Enough
I’ve totally realized that about us, Christin. : ) And I totally understand. Last year we went from sponsoring one child to sponsoring 3 and corresponding with a 4th. Compassion is addictive, am I right?
And it’s true, I’m never more satisfied and joyful than when I manage to focus on others instead of myself.
So Let’s do this Christin. What are we waiting for?
{This is my wonderful husband *smile*} I love that he’s following me around the net. :)
We’re doing it deary. Gotta wait for the catalog to come in the mail :-P
Christin @ Joyful Mothering recently posted..Equipped With Enough
Love the spousal interaction. :) Yeah, you can view the catalog and order online, but it’s just more fun to have it in hand and let the kids thumb through it. Also, since they’re free, I ordered several and game them away to other people, too.
Love this Jessica! My husband and I sat down with the catalog last week. We are giving dental kids, child survival, garden seeds, school supplies, clean water, vaccinations, building equipment and chickens! Our girls picked the chickens!
Jill Foley recently posted..Jingle Bells
We seriously considered the chickens. :)
My kids wanted to give everything in the book! But we had to narrow it down. ;) We are giving clean water, Bibles, gardening seeds, building supplies, chickens, & school supplies. Love doing that! My kids also picked out gifts from Toys R Us to give to local children who don’t have any (or very many) gifts. Thanks for sharing!
That’s great. : )
And yeah, it was hard not to want to get almost everything in the catalog, am I right?
My husband showed our 9 year old that photo up there “Define Necessity”. She cried. She didn’t realize what a starving child looks like. We’ve talked about it, but seeing it was a whole other thing. She is so compassionate. God is moving–I am so thankful.
Christin @ Joyful Mothering recently posted..Equipped With Enough
I showed my children, too. Sobering.
Beautifully written and very thought provoking. Thank you!
Dee, worship is only a word … Worship is an act ! May we worship by that . Taking time visiting the sick , making wron
AMEN!!! That’s what we’re doing this year!!!
Judy recently posted..Austen, Linus, and a non-blog post
I get excited when I think of more and more of us doing this. : )
Love this! We have found the past few years as we have focused our gift giving more on these type of gifts and less on commercial gifts, our kids have been happier, fought less over the holidays, and developed a giving heart year round.
Sharla recently posted..Family Fun Night – Minute to Win It
It really is very freeing and peaceful to not have to think about the whole rush and hubbub of commercialized gift giving.