Did You Know I Have Another Blog?

Some of you might be new around here so you might not know that I wrote a short parenting book one time. I like to call it gentle-parenting for beginners. It’s actually called Parenting Wild Things – Embracing the Rumpus. (By the way, I am oh-so-painfully-slowly working on the revised and expanded version with several new chapters and lots of new content. In my “spare” time. Sigh.)

 

ANYWAY, what you may not know is that I recently built a brand new site for the book. That’s right, it went from being boring ole www.bohemianbowmans.com/wildbook (<– doesn’t quite roll off the internet tongue, does it?) to a certified parentingwildthings.com. Yay.

 

AND in the transition I made the decision to add a blog to the book site. Crazytown, right?

 

Why? Why on earth would I add one more thing to my plate? Well, growing pains, that’s why. This beautiful space called Bohemian Bowmans needed to be redefined a bit, whittled down in purpose. I recognized that I wanted this place to be used equally for more serious and/or humorous writing.

 

But there was still plenty that I really wanted to say that was run-of-the-mill practical or informative, particularly in the arena of parenting. So that’s when I realized I need to split my personality a little bit for maximum efficiency. Or something. Really, it makes sense in my brain.

 

So I am now running consistent content on the Parenting Wild Things Blog. And by “consistent” I mean at least one new, relevant, awesome, post a week with an extra “what parenting articles I’ve been reading” type post once a week, as well. It’s bona fide, I swear. There’s even a Parenting Wild Things Facebook Page and everything where I share funny pictures, anecdotes, and articles. By the way are you following my parenting board on pinterest? I pin there more than anywhere else. (Wow that was a lot of car salesman ship in one paragraph. Whew.)

 

So anyway, if you’re a parent and you’re interested in gentle-parenting and you like people that blog that sort of thing then please go check out all of the above. And tell your friends! Pass it down. Whatever. Pretty please.

 

And to get you kick started, check out the post that ran Monday about how sometimes the offending child is the one that needs consoling and the post running today about my butternut squash pasta sauce that was kid approved.

 

Go! Please! And thank you!

 

-Jessica

 

My Parents Beat Me And I’m Glad They Did!


Good Parenting?

 

“I didn’t like it or understand it at the time, but now in hindsight I’m glad my mama and daddy beat me.  They were just doing what was best for me and they did it because they loved me.  I’d hate to see who I’d be today if they hadn’t.”

This is a sentiment I’ve heard many times before but this day it was particularly painful.  You see, I was sitting in a room exclusively full of current homeless men and/or former addicts.  In a church.  Some how, in that rabbit trail kind of way, we had wandered onto the subject of disciplining children and “the good old days”, then one at a time I heard from each of these men how grateful they were that they had been beaten as children.

“I was beat as a child for doing wrong, and I turned out just fine!”

 

I sat there, dumbfounded, trying not to give away how disturbed I was in my facial expressions.  What I wanted to say, what I was thinking, went something like … “REALLY?!  You turned out just fine?!  You’re in a HOMELESS SHELTER and most of your life has been wasted on drugs and alcohol!  Really, you turned out just fine?!!!!”

 

Instead, I made some weak arguments for why I think children often respond better to a gentler approach to “discipline”.  My message wasn’t received, and I didn’t push the issue.  I’ve become fairly adept at discerning when someone isn’t ready to accept certain truths and I’ve also learned that pushing truths on someone before they’re ready never ends well.  So I held back most of what I really believed on the subject.  And I certainly didn’t mention that I had written an ebook  about respectful parenting.  (I consider several of those men friends, by the way, and my intention is not to belittle them)

 

Unfortunately, the recent viral video of the father openly mocking is daughter and then shooting up her laptop has brought me face to face with this illogical perspective once again.  Facebook has been riddled with people “Amening” the actions of this father.  Now, to be fair, I didn’t watch the video because I try not to subject myself to senseless negativity that I know will likely upset me.  Also, this specific video wasn’t about physical abuse, but it is still in line with disrespectful parenting.

 

I did, however, watch the video of the judge “disciplining” his teenage daughter with a belt that was popular not long ago (pictured above) and was very sorry that I did.  It brought back painful memories of being similarly “spanked” after entering high school.

 

And I’m going to say, for the record, I’m not thankful that I was hit as a child.  I don’t think that it made me a better person.  I also don’t think that I would have “turned out” worse if I hadn’t been hit and bruised with belts, fly swatters, switches, wooden planks, and shoes  from time to time.  Or slapped in the face.  Or called names.  Or screamed at.  Or been shoved through closed doors.

 

That is what they call a false dichotomy.

 

One has no way of knowing that they would have been “worse” if they had been treated with kindness and respect.  If they’d been listened to, and not arbitrarily punished.  You can’t prove that.  You can’t know that.

 

And, I suppose, I can’t prove the opposite, either.  But I’m going to use a little thing called common sense and claim that it’s likely that when kind, patient, respectful parenting is modeled, it can produce relatively kind, patient, respectful children, and adults.

 

To be clear, I’m not intending this to personally attack either viral video father, or anyone else.  But I am begging them, you, me, everyone, to consider that what our culture fed us as truth in parenting … might not even make sense.

 

I believe that most people act out of a sense of assuming they’re right.  I believe that many parents “discipline” their children in very harsh, derogatory ways because our culture has taught them that is how you produce a productive member of society.  That’s how you “keep them on the right track” or “keep them in line” or whatever.

 

But believing something doesn’t necessarily make it true.

 

Love conquers all. 

 

And I don’t mean the kind of love that abuses for a child’s “own good”.  The kind of love that acts …

 

… um, loving.

 

-Jessica

FREE Copy of Parenting Wild Things!

 UPDATE: This promotion is now over!  :)

 

Do you still not have a copy of Parenting Wild Things?Embracing the Rumpus

 

Well, I forgive you.  And to prove it, today I am giving away free copies to anyone who tweets using the hashtag #ParentingWildThings linking back to the Parenting Wild Things website ( http://bohemianbowmans.com/wildbook ), shares the promotion on facebook, or blogs about  the ebook!

 

Once you’ve done one of these things, just email me (bohemianbowmans@gmail.com) or DM me (@BohemianBowman) and I’ll send you the download link!

 

I want everyone to be ready for the New Year when we will finally be doing the Chapter Challenges together.  If you’re interested in following along with us, you might want to “like” the Parenting Wild Things Facebook Page. :)

 

Merry Christmas, y’all!

 

-Jessica

I’m not a better mom. Ironic.

 

Hi my name is Jessica and I’m a Worser mom.  Oh, I’m sure I’m “better” than somebody, but I’m worser than who I want to be.  I’m worser than who I claim to be.  I’m worser than who I appear to be in that book about being a good mom that I wrote.

 

And I feel the pressure of that every day.

 

To read the rest, hop on over to The Better Mom.

 

-Jessica

Plank Pullin – The one where the kids are driving me crazy.

It’s Plank Pullin’ time! The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye. Matthew 7:3-5 style.

 

Y’all, I’ve been having one of those weeks where I don’t know WHAT is wrong with the Wild Things.  And, to make matters worse, I don’t take any of my own advice from that book I wrote that one time.  I’m impatient, I don’t listen, I react, I fuss, I threaten … and I fail.  Cause those things don’t work.

 

All the more reason to finally follow through on the Parenting Wild Things Chapter Challenges soon.  I think starting next week I’ll be chronicling one challenge a week until every challenge has been challenged.  Eight chapters equals eight weeks, btw.   I’ll most likely be posting the challenges to the Parenting Wild Things site, but I’ll make sure to link over here for you guys every week, too.

 

I need something to keep me accountable, y’all.  So I don’t forget to embrace the rumpus.

 

-Jessica

 



Why I (in)courage wrote Parenting Wild Things

The wonderful gals over at (in)courage have given me the opportunity to talk about my new eBook Parenting Wild Things – Embracing the Rumpus.  Check it out for new insights into the book that I’ve not shared anywhere else.

 

I never ever ever thought I would write a parenting book.  Ever.

 

But you know how they say you should write what you’re passionate about, what you know?

 

Well, I know being a mother.  Point in fact, it’s the thing I have absolutely the most experience in.  You see, I didn’t graduate high school, go off to college, live a little, “find myself”, meet a cute guy, get married, revel a bit in coupledom, and then finally have me a baby or two.

 

Well, I did do most of those things, … just not in that order.

 

Hop on over to (in)courage to read the rest about why I wrote Parenting Wild Things.

 

-Jessica

Plank Pullin – The one where I admit I’m not a perfect parent.

 

It’s Plank Pullin’ time! The one day a week that we strongly resolve to ignore the multitude of specks and sawdust around us and pull one bona fide plank from our own eye. Matthew 7:3-5, style.

 

Considering the pdf release of my new eBook Parenting Wild Things yesterday, it seems perfectly natural to make my plank all parenty today.

 

Btw, have you gotten your copy of Parenting Wild Things yet?  I’d really appreciate your support!

 

If you’ve already read the book then I doubt you came away with the idea that I think I’m an awesome parent.  Because I captial Don’t.  Parenting Wild Things – Embracing the Rumpus is one big fat book of my mistakes.

 

So I don’t want you to be afraid to read it because you’re worried about my high horse and turned up nose.  I promise, my horse is a mere pony and my nose is looking squarely down.  Um, but not in a condescending way.

 

The book consists of 8 chapters and I have failed in almost all of them at some point this week.

 

I’ve forgotten that my children are aliens not criminals.

I have failed to give my toddler the Time Ins that he needed.

I’ve failed to listen to my Wild Things intentionally.

I’ve failed to say yes as often as I could/should.

I’ve lost my 100 year perspective.

 

Hello my name is Jessica, and I’m a recovering Authoritarian Parent.



And if you want to share the list on your post, click the link to grab the code.

get the InLinkz code

 

 

-Jessica

Let the Wild eBook Start!

And the winner is: April Lewis! Thanks everyone for participating, now go snag your own copy for only 4.99!

 

It’s official.  Parenting Wild Things has hit the virtual book stand!

 

Add to Cart

 

I want you to know that I have prayed deeply over this book.  The number one measure of success that I hope for is that it touches the hearts of all you moms and dads out there and helps you on your journey to have loving, respectful relationships with your Wild Things.   Thank you guys so much for being on this rumpusy journey with me here at Bohemian Bowmans.

 

Now, let’s have a giveaway, shall we?!

 

One lucky reader will win a free copy of Parenting Wild things.

 

But that’s not all.  Oh no.  That is not all.  They will also win a copy of the lovely Brook McGlothlin’s Warrior Prayers – Praying the word for boys in the areas they need it most.

 

 

Aaand, the lovely Teri Lynne Underwood’s Parenting from the Overflow.

 

That’s right, three books for the price of none!

 

All you have to do is share this giveaway with the world.  Tweet, Share on Facebook, Do whatever people do on Google+, announce it on your own blog, email it to all your aunts and uncles, whatever it takes to get the job done.

And make sure to leave one comment for each way that you share.

For extra entries you can “like” Parenting Wild Things on Facebook or go “like” the Welcome page of the Parenting Wild Things site.

And don’t forget to leave a comment for each like!

 

Giveaway will close at midnight tonight, so hurry up and get on a rooftop and start shouting!

 

Again, thank you guys so much for supporting me during the addled, sleepless, incoherent days of writing this book.  You guys are the best.

 

Now, Let the Wild Giveaway Start!

 

-Jessica

P.S. Insert obligatory sob story here about how that wonderful Husband of mine lost is job when he went to India and how our bank account gets lower every day.  I really do appreciate you guys! :D