I’ve been reminded a lot lately (by God, in my mind, FYI) that God and I are in a relationship together (Um, der—I know—but sometimes I need reminders).
I like to think of it as a marriage. I like to think of it as marriage because that’s how it’s often described in the collection of writings from other people who also had a relationship with God, that we call a “Bible”.
So now, for your viewing pleasure, I’d like to state some more really obvious things that we all know, but need to be reminded of:
Marriage is intimate.
Very intimate. Hopefully, more intimate than any other relationship you have with any other human on this earth. You know every knowable detail about that person. Some stuff you don’t even want to know, but you do.
THAT, by the way, is why adultery is a sin. 1) You made a promise. 2) It is the closest earthly symbol we have of our relationship with God.
Marriage is based on trust.
If you’re in a healthy marriage, you don’t have to constantly ask your spouse to do mundane things, because it’s part of your relationship/agreement that they’ll do them. Like take out the trash, or the dishes, or pay bills, or lock doors at night. Or that they’ll promise to remind you to do those things—there’s no wrong answer, as long as both people agree on it. You trust each other to do the things that you’ve agreed you’ll do. Without trust, you don’t have much of anything to base a relationship on.
It grows. It has seasons. Hopefully, it doesn’t shrink, but usually it does—hopefully it grows again after that.
Sometimes I don’t talk to my wife much. I don’t feel like I need to. It’s not because I hate her, it’s just that nothing new is really happening, and the honeymoon is over. Honestly, she was 17 when I married her, so we’ve pretty much covered all the “tell me about yourself” details about 12 years ago.
And I hate talking about work—usually I’m working somewhere I don’t even want to be, so why would I talk about it when I’m not there? (I know, I need a new job, I’m working on it right now!)
So, I figure it’s ok that God and I don’t talk all the time. I don’t sit for hours and spill elegant prayers. I trust God. That’s called faith. I don’t know God fully, but he does know me. I can’t know God fully, I can’t know my spouse fully, but I can try. And I don’t do that by running a monologue every time we have a “conversation”.
When bad stuff happens, I know God well enough to know that he’s already more aware of the situation than I am—so I don’t have to tell him. AND that he already knows what’s in my heart before I ask him—so I don’t actually have to ask (because my heart already did). AND that he’s acting completely selflessly at all times. That’s the best marriage ever.
*photo by Andrei Mihalcea